Monday, 9 April 2012

Excruciating Rapture


See me now;
Here I am, in all my naked glory.
How did this happen? How could I let myself get this grotesque?
Is it another form of torment and abuse for my sins, not mine specifically but those brought against me and made to believe they were mine?

See me now;
Here I am, in all my torment.
Why would this happen? Was I that despondent in those few months when I thought everything was painless and the only guilt that riddled me was that of manipulating the mind of a far too kind and generous man?

See me now;
Is this me, is this what I have become?
And if so, if this horrible reality is not just some fiction in my mind, then what to do? Go back to my old ways and bring up all the arguments? After all, it is the reason a dear one departed from me. Is this fair?
All but to gain vanity.

Hear me now;
In all my retribution.
Dare I do this? I dare not. Dare I speak of this? I dare not. This is not me, is this me? This is not right...but then... 

This is not the life I intended.

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